


I Can't Handle Your Attention

by CalamityRondo



Series: Attention Whore [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Closeted!Louis, M/M, Masturbation, Weddings, larry stylinson - Freeform, serious lack of dialogue, there is still Elounor and Harry/Taylor, there might be Ziall in there if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2013-06-01
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:20:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityRondo/pseuds/CalamityRondo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Harry's wedding and Louis really wants to just fit in and get it over with. Harry makes that quite difficult for him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can't Handle Your Attention

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god, guys, thank you so much for all the lovely feedback I got for the first part! I just had to do this as soon as possible after getting so many requests!
> 
> So, I know this **not at all** what you were expecting, but I wanted to keep it realistic instead of writing nonsensical fluff, so please just bear with me :)

When Louis returns hours later to his room, it’s empty just as he has expected. He finds a note from Harry on the bedside table that reads ‘Thanks for letting me crash.’ There is a smiley scrawled beneath the simple phrase and it wears sunglasses, and yeah, Louis definitely feels the hangover, too. He feels a little better, though, than just a few hours ago. He has walked around the city aimlessly, drinking gallons of tea, and somehow the gentle sunshine and the hot liquid have helped him calm down.

He still feels awfully guilty for what has happened, but he is determined to just forget about that, move on with his life and let Harry have the awesome wedding he deserves. He has thought about ditching the wedding, of doing Harry the favor of not coming and avoiding the awkwardness that will surely be there, but it would be too obvious. He wouldn’t have a valid reason for staying away without telling the truth, and he definitely can’t do that, so he has to go.

He throws on some clothes that don’t reek like excessive party and alcohol and drives to the station to pick up Eleanor who has taken the train since Louis took the car. He presses her against himself in a tight hug and doesn’t enjoy in the least how her breasts feel against him, but he kisses her nonetheless and she seems happy enough. He treats her to some restaurant for a small lunch before they drive back to the hotel to clean up for the wedding. Louis doesn’t talk much during the whole ordeal because he fears what might spill, if he opens his mouth, and Eleanor throws him a glance for it every now and then, because Louis is the type that constantly talks to get attention, but she doesn’t really mind since she gets the chance to talk about that important paper she has had to write until yesterday. Louis really tries to pay attention to everything she says, it’s a great distraction, but he only succeeds half of the time.

3 o’clock rolls around and Louis finds himself sitting in a nicely decorated church. Harry stands at the front, fidgeting, and nobody can blame him, it’s the biggest day of his life after all. He looks breathtaking in a suit, Louis notes, and he has done a brilliant job of covering up the dark bags under his eyes from the party the previous night. There are no reminders of what they have done, and Louis is thankful that he didn’t try to bite Harry, because he would die out of shame if Taylor were to see any marks that were not left by her. But he hasn’t, so everything’s okay, he can do this.

Eleanor, sitting in her cream colored dress next to him, looks pretty and Louis takes her hand for good measure and she smiles at him. He tries is best to return the smile as carelessly as possible, and it seems he’s doing a good job of it, because she lights up at his smile.

“I heard they got in an argument this morning.”

It’s Niall who leans in to Louis and whispers this. Louis whips his head around to him and stares at him with unbelieving eyes for a second before he schools his features back into a slightly curios one. His heart is beating wildly, though. He feels the guilt creep up on him again and he prays to god that he hasn’t ruined this and that they can go on and be happy and not see each other again, because Louis can’t risk having Harry step back into his life permanently.

“What about?” he asks with what he hopes is nonchalance.

Niall shrugs. “About why he didn’t come back last night. I think it’s a bit overdramatic, you know? I mean, it’s cool that he is so considerate to not barge in there in the middle of the bloody night, completely smashed and wake her up the night before her big day. She wouldn’t have appreciated it, if he did.”

Louis smiles at him—it’s the first genuine smile today—because sweet Niall always makes him feel better without even noticing.

“He told her he has been staying with you, and that’s cool, right? I mean, you two used to do that all the time back in school, plus you had space since your girl—“ he smiles at Eleanor and she smiles right back at the blonde “hasn’t been here. But I think Taylor may have a grudge against you now.”

Niall’s laugh is as goofy as Louis remembers it, and it’s almost contagious, if it weren’t for the fact that Taylor may be instinctively right about her suspicion about him and Harry. He shudders at the thought, but forces himself to relax so he can give Niall an answer.

“I’ll win her back over in no time. Just you wait and see.”

The conversation is interrupted at this point with the organ beginning to play and everybody turns around to look at the entrance. Taylor is coming in and she looks stunning in her white dress. Louis chances a look back at Harry who smiles broadly, and _yeah this is like it should be_ , he thinks.

He sits silently through the ceremony. He can't help thinking back to the previous night, though, and he is really glad that he and Harry haven't had much contact after school, because if they had, Louis might be the best man right now, standing next to Harry and handing over the rings. He wouldn't be able to do that, not after knowing he has shagged that beautiful boy right before his wedding. He wouldn't be able to look neither Harry nor Taylor in the eye, and he sure as hell wouldn't be able to smile at them like he was actually happy they're getting married. So it's bloody perfect, that he and Harry aren't that close anymore and a guy named Nick is Harry's best man, because Louis can't even pretend that he is happy for them from the spot were he is sitting. 

“Are you alright?”, Eleanor whispers to him. Louis looks down to where he is unconsciously crushing her hand in his own. Loosening his grip, he tries to shoot her his most convincing smile. 

“This is just really touching”, he whispers back, and with that he directs his attention back to the front and hopes she won't question him again.

And then the moment is there, Harry and Taylor exchange vows and rings and they kiss, and they are officially married now. Louis is close to tears now, but he thinks it's for an entirely different reason than everybody else is. But he fucking needs to get over this, because it's not high school all over again and he is not in love with Harry Styles anymore. 

* * *

Louis really tries to stay away from alcohol at the reception, he really really does, because he knows how he gets, when he drinks, but somehow he can't escape having to drink some. He also does his very best to keep a low profile, because this is Harry's reception and Louis doesn't need to get all the attention at this party, he doesn't even want that, but somehow he gets the attention nonetheless. 

It starts when the newly weds arrive at the destination of the party and stand in a circle with their best friends in which Louis along with his mates from school finds himself in and he gets a glass of champagne pushed into his hands and suddenly all eyes are on him, expecting him to propose a toast. Louis is a bundle of nerves, he feels so guilty that he thinks as soon as somebody looks at him they will know exactly what he has done. He is a good actor, though, and manages to get a nice toast out and everybody clap their hands and Harry and Taylor kiss and Louis just wants to go home and forget everything. 

After that he is handed a glass of alcohol every now and then and Louis always tries to get rid of it without drinking, but someone always pops up and then expects him to drink that glass with them. So he does. Thankfully, it's not enough to get him drunk, yet, he only feels tipsy. 

The party is great, though he would have enjoyed himself more if yesterday hadn't happened, but Harry and Taylor have put a lot of thought into the party, so it's almost fun. However, dancing with Eleanor is not fun, she's too close and she is so small, Louis has barely anything to touch, and he thinks of a broad chest and big hands instead of her petite frame, and he is really glad when the song ends and he can escape. 

Soon after he finds himself at a table with Niall and Zayn, and for a few moments he can forget the crap that is going on inside his head, because he hasn't talked to the lads in a long time and it's nice catching up with them. 

“Look who's not completely smashed for once”, Zayn laughs as Louis sits down with them. Louis grins at him.

“You may not believe it, but I do know how to behave, if necessary.” 

At that both boys raise their eyebrows and laugh at him, but Louis laughs right back and it almost feels like they haven't been separated for years. 

“So what have you two been up?”, he asks, because even though he has already met them yesterday, he didn't get the chance to talk to them properly before his coherency has been lost thanks to the booze. 

“We're a couple”, Niall says and his cheeks still turn bright red just like they used to. Louis nearly chokes on his spit. He hasn't expected that at all. Zayn must have seen the disbelieving look on his face, because he slings an arm around Niall's shoulder and grins his typical smile. 

“Don't get your hopes up, Lou. He means that in a musical sense.” 

The blonde giggles at that and Louis isn't so sure Zayn is right, because that's exactly how Niall has always giggled when he has talked to a girl he likes, or at least he thinks that's the laugh. It's surprising, though, to learn that they make music together, Niall playing guitar and Zayn singing. Louis can picture that pretty well, Zayn has a nice voice and Niall has always been obsessed with his guitar. 

They talk about the duo for some time—they have yet to have their big break, but they can afford their living with the music—before Louis excuses himself to the loo. He is washing his hands in the sink when the door opens and Harry staggers into the restroom. He seems to have had quite a lot more to drink than Louis has allowed himself, judging from his unsteady walk and his too broad and unfocused smile. Louis wipes his hands dry quickly, his heart beats wildly and he just hoped he can escape the room without having to meet Harry eye to eye. 

His plan is immediately ruined when he feels a body press against him, pinning him against the sink, and warm breath on his neck. He can feel where Harry's crotch in neatly aligned with his bum, and although Harry has no boner, his mind happily supplies him with the memory. He has to bite his tongue to keep from moaning. 

“You smell so good, Lou”, Harry breathes against his neck, and then there are lips on his throat above the collar of his shirt, and _shit_ Louis is not drunk enough for this. It's good that he isn't, because someone has to stop this, but Harry makes everything exceptionally harder when he reaches his hand around Louis to open the button of his suit and tweaks Louis' nipple through his dress shirt. That sends a shiver down Louis' body and his cock twitches interested immediately. 

“What the hell are you doing, Harry?”, he demands. The taller has the nerve to actually rut against his behind, and Louis would enjoy that, if they weren't at the bloody reception of Harry's wedding. 

“I thought about you.” 

Louis' heart sinks. He mustn't believe a single word Harry says, because he is drunk, he has no idea what he is talking about, and Louis certainly hasn't either. He spins around to the curly haired man, although he makes that quite difficult with how hard he presses Louis into the sink. Their eyes lock for a moment before Harry dips down and Louis only manages to turn his head away in the nick of time. They can't kiss—he doesn't remember if they have the previous night but he just assumes they haven't, if only to sooth his remorse a little—but they definitely can't start now that Harry is a married man. 

“Stop it!” He shoves at Harry's shoulders, but the latter just puts his arms firmly around his waist and presses their bodies together until there is not an inch between them. Louis' breath hitches and he shamefully notices how his cock begins to stiffen, and he shouldn't do that just because they're ridiculously close, but he can't stop it. 

He needs to get Harry off of him now. Someone could walk in any time, and they can't be seen in a compromising situation like this. Harry begins to rut against him again and he nibbles on Louis' ear, and it feels so good that he quietly moans after all. But as soon as the sound escapes his lips, he slaps a hand over his mouths. Harry just licks lazily along the shell of his ear. 

“I like how that sounded”, he says in that low voice of his and it goes straight to Louis' dick. 

He takes a deep breath and squirms his way out of Harry's hold. The distance between their bodies immediately clears his mind. He can't believe this is happening, he doesn't understand why Harry would do this, but if anything, he owes it to his friend to keep him from harm. So he turns to the door and says 'Don't do that again' before leaving. 

Outside, he tries to smooth his clothes and put on a face as if he hasn't been propositioned by Harry Styles just now. He wants to go back to Zayn and Niall, but he sees them dancing and he won't interrupt them just because he needs someone to take his mind off of things. So he seeks out Eleanor, because she is safe territory. She is his girlfriend and he shouldn't get funny ideas when near her. He sits with her and watches his friends dance, and wow they're still so bad at it (it's not like Louis is any better), but they really seem to enjoy it. 

Eventually Harry comes out of the restroom and there is no trace of his stagger from before, even his face looks controlled and focused. He dances another dance with Taylor, and Louis feels his heart sink, because Harry clearly has very much control over his body. He doesn't seem intoxicated in the least, and it makes Louis think what the hell has happened in the loo? Harry has acted as if drunk to make a move on him, but it just doesn't make sense in Louis' head. Why would Harry do that? He doesn't come up with any satisfying answers. 

He tries to not look at Harry for too long, because he fears people might notice him staring, but everyone is occupied with something else. It's in that moment that Liam stalks over to Harry and Taylor and apparently snatches her away for a dance. It's not odd for the newly wed couple to have dances with other people at their reception, what is odd is that Harry just comes over to the table where Louis sits. 

“May I have this dance?”, he asks, and Louis looks at Eleanor, as if Harry has just asked her, but the curly haired man just extends his hand to Louis and it feels like a sick joke. What is he doing, and why? Louis doesn't get any of it. 

“Come on, for old times' sake”, Harry insists stubbornly. 

Louis feels Eleanor nudge him with her elbow and sees her nod encouragingly. The poor girl has no idea what has happened between the two boys in the last 24 hours, and Louis can't really blame her for thinking this is a good idea. It's a terrible idea, though. But Louis has to keep up appearances, so he accepts Harry's hand who beams at him stupidly. 

They walk over to the dance floor, and Louis swears he is going to faint with how fast his blood is rushing through his veins and his heart is stuck in his throat, and then they begin to dance and it's awkward because Harry has definitely taken lessons to do well at his wedding and Louis just sort of shuffles along, and they're too close and Harry is so warm and his hands still so big. Louis wants to melt into him, and he almost does, but then there is a stirring in his chest and in his pants, and he just can't. He can't fucking do this. The crush he has had for Harry is five years in the past now and he can't get a bloody boner from dancing with him. 

Before the song has ended, he pushes Harry away. “Sorry, need the loo again”, he mumbles and rushes past him. Inside, he checks the stalls—all empty—and ducks into the last one. He locks the door and pathetically falls against it. He is close to tears again, but he doesn't cry in public. He tries to take steady breath, but they don't calm him at all. 

Thoughts swirl inside his head, of broad shoulders and big hands, of stupid dimples and even more stupid curls. 

_The second the door to his hotel room closes, he is pressed against it. His legs wrap around the other with almost no effort. His hands tug at the thick curls on Harry's head, as the taller dips down to bite at his collarbone._

There is a snip of a memory, and Louis feels his cheek heat up with it. 

_They stand in front of the bed now, Harry's hot hands are under his shirt (which he thankfully has put back on after stripping at the club), and wherever they touch him, his skin is on fire. Louis can't get Harry out of his clothes fast enough, but his hands are clumsy with alcohol._

Louis thumps his head against the stall door. He can feel his dick throbbing. Reaching down, he palms himself a little through his trousers. 

_Harry is on his knees and Louis groans because he is being a tease in pulling down Louis' boxers. But then he is finally free and Harry leans forward and suddenly is cock in enveloped in a heavenly heat, and Louis can't stop himself from tugging Harry's head forward with his fingers tangled in those beautiful curls, and Harry just obeys, taking him deeper._

He hasn't noticed when his hand has opened his trousers and crept beneath his boxers, but he doesn't mind when his fingers wrap around his stiff length and squeeze him lovingly. He bites his lips quite hard to keep from moaning, nobody is here, but he still can't risk it. He shoves his clothes down with his unoccupied hand, so he has more room to stroke himself. He is quick about it, because he is already so hard and needy. He would like to press his fingers into his hole, would like to remember Harry doing it to him, but he can't do that here. He trails a finger down nonetheless, just pressing against the tight ring of muscles. His hand tugs faster at his member, flicking his wrist on the upstroke. 

“Harry..”, he chokes out in a sole stray moan, and before he even realizes it he comes hard and fast. His breath is uneven and he feels hot all over. The only thing he sees is Harry's stupid face. He feels like shit. When has his life taken such a turn? 

He quickly wipes his hand with some toilet paper and puts his pants and trousers back on. Taking a shuddering breath, he exits the stall and goes about washing his hands. 

“So.. Harry, huh?” 

Louis nearly screams when a voice suddenly speaks up. His head whips around to meet Niall's sheepish smile. The brunet gulps loudly. What the fuck has he done now? This can't be real, Niall has not just heard him masturbate to thoughts of Harry. 

They stare at each other for a moment, neither moving. Louis expects some kind of reproach or Niall telling him that he is a motherfucking asshole and that he never wants to have anything to do with him again. Instead there is only silence. Louis slowly dries his hands and when he turns back around Niall is suddenly only a feet away. His arms wrap around Louis. It takes some moments for Louis to reciprocate, but then they just stand there, and it's the best thing that has happened to Louis in the past days. 

He never cries in public, but here in Niall's arms he lets his head rest against the other's shoulder and weeps a little, because he has no idea what to do with his life anymore. He is living a fucking lie, he is with a girl he doesn't love, he can't bring himself to be honest about his sexuality, he has slept with his friend one day before his wedding and he can't stop some dumb old feelings he has had for the boy from resurfacing. 

Niall says nothing at all. He doesn't try to comfort him nor does he say anything bad and Louis appreciates how he just holds him until he can breathe again. 


End file.
